messengershooter-deactivated202:

.pdf (poison dart frog)

(via capitalisticon)

cathugging:

cat brains are so small but they fit so much bastard into them

(via giggle)

pizzaback:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

theperksofbeingafluteplayer:

when I was in 8th grade, this guy in my last class of the day leaned over to me and said “everyone thinks I’m wearing plaid shorts, but they’re really just boxers”

and sure enough, upon closer inspection, they were indeed just boxers

this kid just up and didn’t wear pants to school and no one noticed

I think about it a lot

you met a god of yore

he lived many people’s nightmares like it’s nothing

(via allteeensrelate)

the-last-hair-bender:

theothersideofthechair:

Man: Hi can I get a haircut?

Me: You can but you’re going to have to wait for half an hour.

Man: Oh no its okay I’ll just take whoever’s available.

Me: No one is available right now. It’s going to be a half hour wait.

Man: Oh its okay just give me whoever can take me right now.

Me: There. Is. No. One. Available. To. Give. You. A. Hair. Cut. Right. Now.

Man: what do you mean?

Me rapidly losing patience: I have a colour and my coworker has a Perm. We are both busy and there is no one else in the salon. So if you’d like to take a seat we can fit you in in 30 minutes.

Man: Oh….. Well I don’t want to wait.

Me: Then I suggest you make an appointment and come back and you won’t have to wait.

Man: So there’s no one available right now?

Me:

Originally posted by samisoffthewall

This is so much fucking funnier with the gif removed

(via thementalistscandidate)

honeyangelbaby:

i love to daydream and be called baby

(via toastbutteregg)